Cartoons: Debate, ATC

[Source: Lisa Benson]



[Source: Steve Benson]

Tips, pigs, colons ... and other news

Douglas Adams was right. I love the sound deadlines make as they whoosh by.

Business tip: If something you insisted upon later causes a problem, if you can then offer the solution, you're the hero.

That business tip doesn't work everywhere. The arsonist fireman, for instance. But in coding, it's very true.

My favorite episode of Cagney & Lacey was the one where -- no, wait, that was Jake & the Fat Man. Never mind.

Pelosi: Buy my pig. It's in this poke.

Former Reform Party governor: Tea Party is "a laugh."

Brooks Bayne asked Twitter: "why do you allow, @AlqassamBrigade, a terrorist organization, on twitter?" Obviously, he didn't think before he asked. Twitter allows them for the same reason they allow @HouseDemocrats: Being a group of left-wing America-haters doesn't disqualify anyone.

Quick! Pass Obamacare before the herpes gets us all!

Quick! Pass Obamacare before we see Harry Smith's colon on TV!

Any bets on what they'll find during Harry Smith's colonoscopy? I'm thinking his head; it's been up his ass for years.

Shower politics, back waxes, legislative gropefests. What are we, Europe?

Obama wants to ban sport fishing? (tip: Gateway Pundit) If that happens, how will Rahm deliver his messages?

All Charlie Crist was trying to say is that Marco Rubio is a hairy little Cuban. Now, isn't that better?

POTUS vs SCOTUS? Careful, Obama. They may decide to hear that birth certificate thing after all.

Nancy's got a secret

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA-8) says she wants the health care bill passed so we can see what's in it.


[Direct link]
Tip: Don Surber

Yes, she actually said:

But we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it

[Full transcript]

Why can't she tell us? Because she doesn't know? Because she hasn't read it?

Well, there's something in it. At around 2,074 pages -- remember, they're going to vote on the Senate bill -- there has to be lots of stuff.

But what is in the bill that Pelosi is so excited about?

• Funding to provide all families with a cat spa
• The Compleat Works of William Shakespeare
• The Third Secret of Fátima
• An icebox fruitcake recipe
• The script to the Lost series finale
• Obama's birth certificate
• The completed final draft of Midnight Sun
• The Klingon Bible

What else might be in there?

Cartoons: Strong Arm, Government-run, and the Taxpayer

[Source: Bob Gorrell]



[Source: Steve Benson]



[Source: Michael Ramirez]

The Hurt Locker, hurt feelings ... and other news

The Hurt Locker , about the Iraq War, won Best Picture? Remember, Iraq is an accomplishment for Obama. It's okay to say nice things now.

How liberals deal with hurt feelings: "Boo-hoo! Waahh!" Come to think of it, that's how small children deal with hurt feelings, too. Which means that either small children or liberal, or liberals have the maturity of small children.

What do you do if the men's room at work swells like a homeless person? Do you call security or housekeeping!

Wouldn't it be really cool if Obama was actually a robot? Then the Three Laws would apply.

Got to the house last night, and, after supper, started on Google Reader. After an hour, I still had 338 items to read. Seriously, I need to cull. I'm often tempted to click Mark All Read, but every time I get close to doing it, I see something worthwhile. It sucks to follow so many interesting blogs.

I iz a slave to teh internets. Or is that racist?

Are you following me on teh Twitter? No? Shame, shame, shame. But, you can correct that: http://twitter.com/basilsblog

Problem solved

And now a word from our sponsor...


[Direct link]
Tip: The New Editor

How to balance the federal budget without raising taxes

How can Congress possibly balance the federal budget without raising taxes?

It's easy. Make Congress make up for any shortfall in the budget. Take it out of their pay. Cut Congressional pay (House and Senate) for every dollar the budget is in deficit.

What about the president? Well, if he vetoed the deficit budget, he's off the hook. If he signed it, he's liable. Dock his pay, too.

Now, what happens if the deficit is more than the pay of Congress? As is the current situation? Congress is on the hook for the balance. Personally. If Congressman A has twice wealth as Congressman B, he's responsible for twice as much of the deficit.

When that still doesn't cover the deficit, spread the debt around to other members of the government, exempting military pay only.

If Congress tries to get around it by raising taxes, count every tax increase as deficit money, and cut Congressional pay accordingly.

I learned a long time ago, that if someone had the solution to a problem, but had no interest in solving the problem, it was because it didn't personally affect them; it wasn't their problem.

Make it their problem.

Search engine fun

Okay, maybe not fun. But it's been a while since I checked to see what people are looking for when some search engine sends them here. Since I'm bored (and actually avoiding something I need to be doing), I thought I'd check out the search engine stats. These are some of the most interesting ... or eye-catching ... search terms people used to get here. The most popular terms are at the top.

• verizon vampire commercial - This is the new "jamie lynn spears naked." And tharere are multiple variations on this. But this variation, all by itself, is the top search term used to arrive here. Seems I had a post that contained a YouTube video of the Verizon commercial featuring a vampire. Only now, Verizon had them take it down. I didn't upload it; someone else did, and I embedded it here. I do have the original, though. I wonder why Verizon doesn't want people watching that commercial. And, no, I won't re-upload it.
• jamie lynn spears naked - The old classic. Somehow, it never gets old. Thankfully, she is getting older. At least, now, she's 18, which means, I suppose, people searching for her are no longer searching for child porn.
• hitler reacts - How can you go wrong with Hitler.
• bender - Not sure what this is all about. Yes, I know he's the robot from Futurama, but still... here?
• basil - Yay! Somebody came here actually looking for me. Instead of a vampire. Or child porn. Or a Nazi. Or a drunken robot.
• fat film - I didn't realize I looked that much like Michael Moore. (I don't.)
• bangelina - Which is, I suppose, like "Brangelina," but with more bang.
• what happened to charles johnson - And the answer still remains, "Nothing happened to him; he's always been that way."
• nancy pelosi workout video - Yes, I posted it.
• rick sanchez - Must have been some DUI or hit-and-run story I wrote.
• curling today - Probably not looking for that Beatles video. But I don't care.
• boobs - Yay! Boobs!
• best movies alphabetical - From a huge time-waster I inflicted upon myself.
• obama - He's not real popular around here. Probably why it's so low on the list.
• kfc wednesday special - Yes, this actually appears right next to the previous one. I'm not racist. But search engine users are.
• 888-304-2632 -  Seems somebody else gets letters from Chase.

Now you see why I don't check the search engine logs all that often.

Racist video of the day

Dan Rather: (Obama) is a nice person... but he couldn't sell watermelons if you gave him the state troopers to flag down the traffic.


[Direct link]

Tip: Big Journalism

Now, in all honesty, I don't think Rather was saying anything about Obama that he wouldn't say about Bush, Carter, Clinton ... or me. Of course, if he did say it about me, he'd be wrong. How do I know? I've sold watermelons ... and didn't need state troopers to flag down traffic.

Rather will get a pass. Not because it was not intended to be racist, but because of his liberal cred. However, if someone from Fox News had said this, there would be a lynching.

Or is that racist?

Update: Totally stolen image from Hope n' Change


One additional thought: On the bright side, since the left is giving Rather a pass on this, it's now okay to refer to Obama as "That Watermelon Salesman"

Cartoon: Liberty

[Source: Lisa Benson]