MST3K: Episode 205

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes, beginning with the beginning. More about that can be found here and here.

Episode 205: Rocket Attack U.S.A.

First aired: The Comedy Channel on 27 October 1990
Availability: MST3KVideos.com

Tom Servo gets a haircut.

This is another episode that's never been made available commercially. Unless you saw it when it aired on The Comedy Channel or Comedy Central, or obtain a fan copy of a recording of one of those broadcasts, you're out of luck.

My recording seems to be from 1992. During the closing credits, the Penn Gillette voice-over mentions the debut of The A List, which, I believe, was in 1992. The Comedy Central logo is the one from 1991-1993.

The color is slightly washed-out, but the audio is okay. The washed-out look makes the poor quality of both the short and the movie even more noticeable.

The Mads' invention: Table Water Polo

The Mads' Tank Tops and Joel's Mirth Mortar both appear in the opening theme, as does another scene from this episode.

Tom Servo gets a haircut. That skinny hed doesn't look good at all. I want the bubble back! Paul Chaplin, writing in The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Amazing Colossal Episode Guide, says the change was intended to be a temporary change from the start. Other sources say that the Comedy Channel suits has received complaints that Servo's head was blocking the movie and the change was to fix that. For what it's worth, Chaplin wasn't on staff during Season Two; he joined the writing staff in Season Three.

I love the Mads' Invention Exchange Table Water Polo. I'd play that! And the final segment was fun. But the first two Host Segments seem to go on and on. And on. And on.

"Fresh, delicious, tree-ripened girl!"

During the third Host Segment, Joel says his character's last name for the first time. The credits have listed "Joel Robinson" as the character's name since Season Two began, but this is the first mentioning of the name during the show.

He gives his name to a visitor to the Satellite of Love, a Russian comedian stranded in space with two robots. Mike Nelson plays the guy trapped in space. This means that Mike has appeared in four of five Season Two episode so far.

During the segment, the Hexfield Viewer finally gets a working opening. The window shade is gone, and the lens-opening makes it's debut. The first time the lens-opening happens is used in the show's opening theme, beginning with this episode.

Flying into Russia

Another "Hai Keeba!" (or is it "Hi Keeba?") reference. No pratfall, but a quickly grabbing of one character by another.

We get the return of "Oh, I'd hate to shoot a butt like that!" That's the first time since Josh left. In fact, the last time, I think, was in a Commando Cody short.

There are some scenes where Joel & the Bots do the 2001 chorus, and it took me a minute to get it. At first, I thought it was just a ghostly wailing, and I looked for a ghostly character. Then, I figured it was simply referring to the dark setting. Then, it hit me: the monolith! I felt so stupid.

The plot of the movie? American agents fly a small plane into the Soviet Union after Sputnik orbits the earth. They want to find if the Soviet Union learned all they needed to know to defeat the United States. They did. And, after an overthrow of the Soviet government by even more evil communists, they do. The left-leaning political leanings of Joel, in particular, are evident by the skits.

Overall, though, a good episode, but not a great episode.

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Cartoon of the Day: Sit, Newt, Sit!

I thought this was funny.


[Direct link: Chuck Assay]

I used to work in Jacksonville. Them folks don't like other folks coming to town to tell them to sit down and shut up. If the crowd is actually people from Jacksonville, I expect they'll cheer, boo, or whatever, if they feel like it. If they are a bunch of transplants or college kids, they'll follow meekly along.

Florida isn't a southern state, except by accident of geography. Jacksonville, though, is a southern city. Or it was last time I was there.

So, are you going to watch the debate tonight?

MST3K: Episode 204 - Catalina Caper

I've decided to watch all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes from the beginning. More about that can be found here and here.

Episode 204: Catalina Caper

First aired: The Comedy Channel on 13 October 1990
Availability: Rhino (out of print), MST3KVideos.com

"Jacques Cousteau meets the Pink Panther"

This was one of the first episodes released on DVD. It was part of the first multi-pack DVD sets, following the first 10 single DVD releases. The set is no longer available commercially. It was also the first of the MST3K episodes to have the rights to the movie expire, and, therefore, the first one to have to come out of rotation.

This episode is one that I didn't see when it first aired, or in reruns. I never saw it until it came out on DVD. Netflix had it on disc once, but no longer. This one is hard to find.

When I first saw it -- before I began this whole "watch 'em all in order" project -- I was mildly amused by it. Since, at the time, I was still used to the later crew -- Mike, Kevin, Bill, & Mary Jo -- it was a different experience. Watching it now, after two years of the original crew (KTMA and Season One), I'm able to see it without the shock of a different cast.

Tom Servo sings "Creepy Girl"

In this episode, Joel has gone back to a red jumpsuit, after three episodes in a teal outfit. I didn't understand the move to teal, since the opening song mentions that he's "just another face in a red jumpsuit," so the change back to red makes sense.

It's a movie form the 1960s. And the first Host Segment during the film featured Joel telling the Bots about the '60s. He pretty much nailed it. Joel and I are around the same age (he's 19 months younger), so he remembers pretty much the same stuff I remember.

Kevin has his first feature segment. Tom Servo sings a song called "Creepy Girl." It's hilarious. I hadn't seen it before. But it's great.

Yes, that's Little Richard

Little Richard is in the film. Really. Like the Bots said, he's the only talent in the film. Naturally, his backing band is the Pat Boone Orchestra. Not really. But it could be. Could have been worse; we could have had Richard Dreyfuss singing "Hey Little Goldfish" to a dolphin.

The movie is a light-hearted affair about a robbery in Catalina. Of course, with a title like Catalina Caper, you'd figure that, right. There is a lot of eye candy in the film.

This is the first comedy the crew has attempted. Which means it's funny when it isn't funny and they point out how unfunny the funny is. The film actually has a plot: there's a theft of a priceless artwork, a double-cross, and a bunch of teens dancing on the beach. What the teens dancing on the beach have to do with the main plot isn't clear, but it doesn't matter; it's the point, I think.

"They're standing four abreast."

This isn't a great episode, but a good one. It's certainly not a bad episode. Not an episode with lots of laugh out-loud funny bits, but there are a few chuckles.

In The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Amazing Colossal Episode Guide, Mike Nelson -- the MST3K Head Writer, not the character played by Lloyd Bridges in Sea Hunt -- says that by the time they had watched this film for the last time, they hated it, even more than they hated The Side Hackers.

They get in a "Hai Keeba" (or is it "Hi Keeba?") in this one, but not during a pratfall. It makes an appearance during a dance scene.

Trace (as Crow) does a couple of Robin Williams impressions. He's pretty good at it, actually.

On, and a catchphrase appears to have graduated to the next level. The "By this time my lungs were aching for air" riff -- said in the style of Lloyd Bridges of Sea Hunt fame -- was attempted twice, but each time was cut off by the others. The riff is no longer the joke; the saying of the riff is now the joke.

Joel says "MSTies" during the final segment. It's the earliest episode in which I recall him using that term to refer to fans of MST3K.

One other thing... during the Invention Exchange, the Mads introduce their "Tank Tops" ... made from real tanks! And Joel shows the Tickle Bazooka with the Mirth Mortar. We'll see those again.

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MST3K: Episode 203 - Jungle Goddess

I am attempting to watch all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that can be found here and here.

Episode 203: Jungle Goddess

First aired: The Comedy Channel on 6 October 1990
Availability: MST3KVideos.com

For the 6th time in the last 8 episodes, we're encountering one that's never been available commerically. Most of Season One and Season Two are or have been available on DVD. We're just in a stretch of mostly never-released episodes.

Remote-controlled circular saw

The copy I have is from a broadcast on Comedy Central. That's based on the original Comedy Central logo in the corner. That means it's from 1991, 1992, or 1993. There is no Penn Gillette voice-over at the end, which indicates it's from late 1991 (after the change to Comedy Central and before Gillette began his announcing duties), or late 1993 (after Gillette was no longer the announcer). Of course, it could be that there was simply no voice-over, which means it's anywhere in that 2-year stretch.

My copy has a problem with the sound. By the end of the episode, the sound is slightly out-of-sync with the picture. It isn't noticeable unti a little over half-way through, and then, just barely so. By the end of the episode, though, there's no question that the picture and sound are not quite in sync.

The quality of the image isn't bad. That's a little hard to tell, since the image quality of both the movie and the short are terrible. But, during the Host Segments, the picture is much clearer, though obviously a recording from a broadcast.

The Invention Exchange features a gag I had never seen before: Joel did a remote-control circular saw gag. Not sure how he did, or would have done, that live. Funny, though.

Bad Robot

After getting used to Josh Weinstein as Tom Servo, I'm now getting used to Kevin Murphy (again) as the voice of Tom Servo.

For the first time since the Commando Cody film broke, we have a short film. This is part 1 of 12 of The Phantom Creeps., starring Bela Lugosi.

Why the way, Kevin does the best Bela Lugosi imitation. Or maybe it's Joel. Bela Lugosi does a pretty good one, too, by the way.

The short features the stupidest looking robot ever. Well, excluding Buck Rogers and other 1970s TV shows. But those were meant for kids. This is meant to scare adults. It doesn't.

The Great White Hunters of the film

They do another Yul Brynner reference in the short. When the mad doctor (Bela Lugosi) and his driver pick up a hitchhiker, they run off the road shortly afterwards. Doctor/Bela and the driver survive, but not the hitchhiker. That's when they say "I'm dead now. Don't hitchhike."

This is also the short film where Lugosi utters the line, "How fortunate. This simplifies everything!" We'll hear that line again.

On to the movie. It's bad. Really bad. No, really. It's bad. The image quality is horrible, and the sound is bad. It's not the recording of the episode, because, as I mentioned, the host segments look and sound just fine.

Mike Nelson appears in another skit. This time, he's a Great White Hunter, based on the George Reeves character in the movie, coming to visit the Satellite of Love. That's three straight episodes where he makes an appearance. Looks like the promotion came with screen time.

"Looks like they all just got out of the shower." "Yeah, and they're on a snipe hunt."

"It's Ginger and Mary Ann!"

I began watching the show regularly after Mike took over. But I had seen some of the episodes with Joel. One thing I remember from the Mike years was Pearl Forrester (Dr. Forrester's mom) calling Crow by the name "Art." I knew his name was Crow T. Robot, so I just figured it was a gag where Pearl didn't know his name and they quit bothering to try to correct her. Not so.

At the end of this episode, there's a sitcom skit, and when they finish, Joel does introductions like Jackie Gleason did at the end of his show. He introduces "Art Crow" and "Sheila MacGypsy" in the manner Gleason introduced Art Carney ("Ed Norton") and Sheila MacRae (the 3rd and final "Alice Kramden").

In a later episode, this will be referenced again when ... well, if you don't know the story, we'll cover it when we get to it.

Good riffing throughout. This is the classic MST3K crew: Joel, Trace/Crow, and Kevin/Tom. Though more changes in the cast will come, for the next few seasons, this will be the cast. Not the cast I was used to, but the one I'm used to now.

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MST3K: Episode 202 - The Side Hackers

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that can be found here and here.

Episode 202: The Side Hackers

First aired: The Comedy Channel on 29 September 1990
Availability: Rhino (out of print), MST3KVideos.com

Jerry (R) and Sylvia (L) get the Mads ready

This is one of those that used to be available, but no longer. The Side Hackers (or The Sidehackers) was part of a three-movie four-pack (the other disc was a collection of short subjects, not an MST3K episode). The collection is out of print, but the other two movies have since been released as single episode discs, leading me to believe the rights to this movie expired, and that's what caused the four-pack to be removed from sale. I don't know that, just making a guess, but that would explain it.

I have the Rhino four-pack, and have ripped the episode out to iTunes, so I can watch it whenever I want. I don't want to very often, because, well, this isn't a good film. And, it's not one of their better efforts with the riffing.

Cambot joins the fun

This is also the movie that was responsible for ... well, let's call it a "learning experience." Here's what happened. The MST3K writing team previewed a portion of a film before making the decision to include it in the show. Note, "a portion of a film" means "not the entire film."

After selecting it, when the writers watched it to riff it, they were shocked by the brutal rape/murder scene. I've seen those scenes. They aren't something you'd want or expect to see on a show airing on a comedy network. The problem was, the rape/murder was a major plot point of the film. They could have made several cuts to omit the most graphic and disturbing (not the same thing, in this instance) images, and still get across the point that the girlfriend was raped and murdered. But, the easiest thing to do was to cut several minutes out of the film and have Crow utter the line, "For those of you playing along at home, Rita is dead."

"J.C" (Mike Nelson, R) and "Cooch" (Frank Conniff)

According to The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Amazing Colossal Episode Guide, after this episode, they never gave the green light to a film without watching the whole film first.

The plot of the film isn't actually sidehacking, which, by the way, is a real sport -- the first world championship was in 1980, 11 years after this film was released. No, the plot of the film is the battle between J.C. and Rommel. Sidehacking is simply a background part. It could have been Tiddlywinks or Lawn Darts or Mumblety-peg.

The movie begins light-hearted enough. Racing and laughing everyone's having a blast. Yes, it's all fun and games until the rape and murder.

And, for the second show in a row, the hero dies at the end. Such a depressing film. I'm not saying the film shouldn't have been shot, but it should have been left for dead afterwards. Not a good film.

"Hai Keeba!"

Meanwhile, in Deep 13... We briefly saw Jerry and Sylvia, the Mole People in the last episode. This episode, they appear again, applying makeup to the Mads. It looks like the Mole People are running the camera and such for the Mads for their communication with Joel. In Season One, Drs. Forrester and Erhardt used some little joystick control to run the camera themselves.

And, on the Satellite of Love... Cambot gets into the action.

We've seen Tom Servo and Crow riff the movies. We even saw Gypsy make a brief appearance in the theater, though she didn't riff the film. And, while Cambot has been there the whole time -- that's how we can see Joel & the Bots doing Joel & the Bots stuff -- he's been an observer only.

Until now.

J&tB make music

Cambot puts up some on-screen graphics in the style of ESPN of that era: the musical note, the image sizing in to leave a right and bottom border that was filled with updates. Joel acknowledges the riff on the movie.

Mike Nelson appears again, this time as J.C. from the movie, along with Cooch, played by Frank Conniff. They finally figured out how to close the screen on the hexfield viewer.

"Hai Keeba!" (or "Hi Keeba") makes another appearance during the fight between J.C. and Rommel. It's shouted by Crow when Rommel flips J.C. during their fight. The phrase is from Episode 104 - Women of the Prehistoric Planet.

Oh, there's music in this episode. Lots of music. In fact, two of the Host Segments are made up of musical numbers. We'll see more and more of this to come.

As I mentioned earlier, this isn't my favorite episode. Mostly, because of the movie. It's a bad movie, and an unpleasant movie. J&tB make it better, but that's a relative term. You can only polish a turd so much.

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MST3K: Episode 201 - Rocketship X-M

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that can be found here and here.

Episode 201: Rocketship X-M

First aired: The Comedy Channel on 22 September 1990
Availability: MST3KVideos.com

And so Season Two begins. This episode isn't available commercially, and never has been. It's a good one, though.

Cambot gets a new look and Joel gets a new jumpsuit

The opening song lyrics don't change, though the visuals do. They still refer to Joel as "another face in a red jumpsuit," and in the opening, that's what he's wearing. Some of the time. Later in the opening, he's wearing a different-colored jumpsuit. Teal or something.

Cambot looks different. This is the third version of Cambot during the life of the show.

In the KTMA season, he was separate from the camera. In Season One, he was integrated into the camera, and looked a lot like the KTMA Gypsy. Now, in Season Two, he looks more like a camera.

This episode is also where, during the opening credits, Cambot's image is shown in the mirror. It'll be a mirror image from here on out, though he does make a couple of more changes in appearance along the way.

The bridge of the Satellite of Love has a new look. They have Joel putting the finishing touches on Tom Servo's new voice. As he tweaks it, the are references to Dick Tufeld's Robot B-9 from Lost In Space, Douglas Rain's HAL 9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey, and Jackie Vernon's Frosty the Snowman, finishing with a voice that has a hint of the Mighty Voice that Josh used. But, it was a different voice.

Frank replaces the "missing" Dr. Erhardt.

We also get to meet Frank for the first time -- other than his being in the opening theme -- and he makes an impression. He's not Josh ... but he is Frank. I immediately like the character.

Late in the episode, Michael J. Nelson makes his first on-screen appearance (his voice had been heard inEpisode 104 - Women of the Prehistoric Planet). Of course, he'll be wearing a dress.

The movie itself is bad. Bad science, bad plot, bad special effects, bad writing, and even some bad acting. But good riffing. Very good riffing.

Despite how bad the movie is, I counted up the number of times I've seen the actual film, the non-MST3K version. The number I came up with was 27. Seriously, 27 times. That's not because it's a good movie. It's not. But, it's one of those silly Men In Space movies from the 1950s. I loved those when I was a kid. If I saw it when I was a kid, I can watch a bad sci-fi movie again and again. Note: "when I was a kid."

"Oh look, it looks like an Al Jaffee Mad Magazine fold in."

Oh, and, I've seen this MST3K episode a few times, too. This was one of the first non-commercial releases I obtained.

In years past, I saw mostly Mike-hosted shows when the show was on the air, though I did also see some Joel-hosted shows. When I began obtaining episodes of MST3K, I got what was commercially available. It was later that I stumbled onto the whole MSTiverse of swapping episodes that aren't commercially available.

As much as I loved this movie as a kid -- hey, I was young and stupid -- I love this episode of MST3K that trashes the movie. This seems to be the perfect MST3K movie. And some of the riffs had me laughing out loud.

"Valaria" isn't quite as hot as she seemed in Robot Holocaust, for some reason

One in particular involved the death of a character. Yes, that's horrible. But it was Noah Berry, Jr.'s Maj. William Corrigan, who went on and on about Texas. When the Martians encountered the astronauts and attacked them with large boulders, one hit Corrigan, killing him. Servo, fed up with the character's constant Texas-talk, chimed in, "They got rocks that big in Texas?" I still laugh when I hear that.

Oh, one final though about this episode. It shows the advantage to watching episodes in order. When I first saw this episode, and I saw Mike's Valaria, I had no idea who the character was supposed to be. Now, having seen Episode 110: Robot Holocaust, I get it.

This is Mike's first on-camera appearance. He'll make a lot more before he takes over the host role from Joel in Season Five.

A couple of other things begin with this episode. Joel finally gets a last name.

Joel's character finally gets a last name.

In the KTMA season, he went by Joel Hodgson, because it was his name. In Season One, he was referred to simply as "Joel" and his character didn't appear in the credits, though Joel Hodgson did. In this episode, the "Joel" character finally appears in the credits, with the last name "Robinson" ... the same name as the Lost In Space family.

Two other things begin here. The term "Shadowrama" makes its debut. Also, the phrase "Keep Circulating The Tapes" appears in the closing credits.

"Keep Circulating The Tapes"

Some people still do. Although they aren't tapes any more. Most are DVDs. And that's how I got this episode.

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Microsoft apps

Microsoft is developing a new app for their phones. And a lot of people are getting their panties in a wad over it.

The app is still under development, but word of it has leaked out, as has the working title of the app: Avoid The Ghetto.

According to the patent filing, the app is to help a pedestrian avoid "traveling through an unsafe neighborhood or being in an open area that is subject to harsh temperatures." It uses weather data, crime stats, and such to make the determination.

Well, the NAACP is all up in arms over that. Or is going to be:

“I’m going to be up in arms about it if it happens,” said Dallas NAACP President Juanita Wallace.

Wallace spent her afternoon at a rally on Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. and said she felt safe there, but fears the app may project otherwise.

“Can you imagine me not being able to go to MLK Blvd. because my GPS says that’s a dangerous crime area? I can’t even imagine that,” she said.

The thing she's missing is that it won't say that MLK Boulevard is a high crime area unless, well, stats show it's a high crime area.

You think maybe the problem isn't that people are pointing out that crime occurs, but that crime occurs? Nah, that'd make too much sense to actually address the real problem, when fake outrage over fake problems is much more fun.

But, you know, maybe Microsoft is on to something. I wonder what other apps they could develop.

• Avoid The Idiots. Using voter registration roles, it could find where Democrats live, and then you could avoid having to deal with idiots.
• Avoid The Tide. Using college records, it could find where Alabama fans live and help you not get someone's wang thrust in your face.
• Avoid The Crazy Women. Using information from Facebook, dating sites, and news stories, it will help you avoid hooking up with the future Ex-Mrs. Ex-Speaker Of The House.

There are probably several apps that could be developed that would be of benefit.

Maybe I need to rethink my position on Microsoft being all evil and such.

MST3K: Season One wrapup

I consider myself a fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000. However, I haven't seen all of the episodes. I've seen all the Mike shows, but not all the Joel shows. And, until recently, I hadn't seen any of the shows with Dr. Erhardt (Josh Weinstein, who also voiced Tom Servo).

We just finished Season One and are getting ready for Season Two. But, before we start MST3K's sophomore year, let's get a wrapup of Season One.

Between the KTMA season (Season Zero or Season K) and Season One, Josh (now J. Elvis) Weinstein met Michael J. Nelson and thought he'd be a good addition to the team. He was hired to "do some typing." That began as being typist for the existing crew of writers: Trace Beaulieu, Joel Hodgson, Jim Mallon, Kevin Murphy, and Josh Weinstein.

MST3K promotes Mike

They soon found out that Mike Nelson was a funny guy, and he became one of the writers. In Season Two, he was promoted to Head Writer.

Mike made his first appearance in the last episode of Season One, Episode 104 - Women of the Prehistoric Planet. Well, "appearance" isn't the right word. He provided the voice. He'll show up on-screen in Season Two.

Josh, who had originally suggested bringing Mike in, wasn't as happy with a scripted show as he was with the ad-lib nature of the KTMA season. After Season One wrapped, he left the show.

That meant that two openings needed to be filled: Tom Servo needed a voice, and Dr. Clayton Forrester needed an assistant.

MST3K gets a new Servo

Kevin Murphy, who had been with the show since the start, took over as the voice of Tom Servo. He's the only Tom Servo I ever knew until I decided to watch all the old shows. Now, after 31 straight episodes with Josh Weinstein (the 18 that still exist from the KTMA season, plus the 13 from Season One), I'm used to Josh in the role. Let's see how long it takes me to get used to Kevin again.

Frank Conniff, who was a comedian they crew was very familiar with, was hired as "Frank," a trainee to assist Dr. Forrester. He'll make his appearance in the first episode of Season Two. Frank Conniff was actually referenced in the KTMA season (Episode K14 - Mighty Jack). He'll be one of the writers, as well as the primary guy to pick the movies to riff.

Frank Conniff plays "Frank"

Joel went all of Season One going by the name "Joel." No last name. During the KTMA season, Joel went by his real name, "Joel Hodgson." I'm not sure when the character takes the last name "Robinson." I'll keep looking for that.

After one local season (on the former KTMA) and after one national season (on the former Comedy Channel), I've enjoyed the show and its dynamic. Prior to this project, I hadn't seen a lot of Joel, and thought of MST3K as Mike's show. Yes, I've know all along that Joel started it, but I was more familiar with Mike as the experiment subject.

Now, I'm used to Joel's character, as well as Dr. Erhardt, and Josh's Tom Servo. Let's see how the changes in Season Two change things.

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MST3K: Episode 104 - Women of the Prehistoric Planet

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that can be found here and here.

Episode 104: Women of the Prehistoric Planet

First aired: The Comedy Channel on 10 February 1990
Availability: Rhino (out of print), MST3KVideos.com

Joel gets a couch.

This is the one that's numbered funny. According to The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Amazing Colossal Episode Guide, the movie wasn't available when they got around to production number 104, so they skipped to number 105. After they finished production number 113, they finally did number 104. They never bothered to change the numbers, so while this episode is numbered 104, indicating season 1, episode 4, it's really just a number.

This episode was the last one produced and the last one aired in Season One. And, since I'm covering the episodes in order, it's appearing here, at the end of Season One.

Joel opens the show with a redecorated Satellite of Love -- he added a couch -- but doesn't repeat the premise of the show. I've not been a fan of that whole "Joel covers the premise" thing.

Not going around.

The dinosaur scenes feature not only close-ups of lizards playing dinosaurs, but a soundtrack playing Creature from the Black Lagoon music.

There is one particularly silly ... or maybe it's just stupid ... scene where the explorers walk across a log to avoid falling into a boiling acid water pool. They did that rather than take two steps to the left and walk around the pool.

J&tB also made fun of Wendell Cory, who played the Admiral. a lot. A lot. Cory slurred lots of his lines, possibly due to his alcoholism, which lead to his death two years after this film was released.

The Host Segments are totally unrelated to the movie. An Isaac Asimov Literary Doomsday Device is the common theme. I've read a lot of Asimov fiction and essays, and they seemed to have nailed him. Asimov was still an active writer at the time, though he had been slowed somewhat by AIDS, which he contracted during his 1983 heart bypass surgery, and that would kill him two years after this episode first aired.

Outside the Satellite of Love.

The Asimov Literary Doomsday Device goes off.

Michael J. Nelson makes his first appearance of sorts on the show during this episode. He's the voice of the Doomsday Device.

Joel does interactions with the screen again. I don't think I've mentioned this, but he does that a lot. I don't recall Mike doing that. Not much, anyway.

One scene that will come back to haunt us happens in this episode. A character ... the comic relief who, surprisingly, isn't Stuart Margolin, says "Hai Keeba!" during a karate exhibition. "Hi Keeba" would become a catchphrase.

Hai Keeba!

This episode was available for sale in May 2006 as part of the Volume 9 four-pack, but has since gone out of production. Often that's because of rights issues with one or more of the films, rather than poor sales. One of the movies in the four-pack (not this one) has since been released as a stand-alone DVD, and for streaming via Amazon and iTunes, so it is probably a rights issue with one or more of the movies. Possibly this one.

For whatever reason, though, this episode isn't currently available for sale in any way, shape, or form. If you own the four-pack, you have an item that is valuable, since used packs are running over $100, and new boxes are running around $400.

My copy is an original Volume 9 four-pack I purchased. I suppose I could get $100 for it, but I won't. My MST3K. I think I'll keep it.

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When the kids call

The phone rang Monday night. I looked at the Caller ID. It was my son.

I answered, "Hello."

Slight pause on the other end. "Hey."

"Hey, there. How is everything?"

He paused. "Pretty good." Another pause.

"Something's on his mind," I thought. So, I ask, "What's up?"

"Um," he said, then paused again. "I got a question."

"Sure," I responded, not sure at all.

"Um. Say I have two clocks. One keeps perfect time. The other loses 4 minutes an hour."

"Uh, okay."

He continued, "At 12 o'clock, they have the same time..."

"Okay," I said as I tried to follow along.

"Now, when the clock that is off 4 minutes each hour gets to 2:20, what time does the other clock say? I think it's 2:30, but I'm not sure."

My turn to pause. "Uh. Well, you say the wrong clock is 4 minutes off. Each hour? After one hour, it's at 56?"

"That's right. And I think 2:30 is right, but I'm not quite sure how to explain why."

"Well, if it's off 4 minutes each hour," I said, thinking out loud more than anything else, "it's off 1 minute each 15 minutes, right?"

"That makes sense."

"And we're looking at what time? 12:20, uh, 2:20?"

"Right."

"That's ... uh ... 140 minutes, right?"

"Yeah, 120 and 20 ... 140."

"So, that's 10 times 14. So the other clock, the one that's right, would have moved 10 times 15, right?"

"That's right."

"And 10 times 15 is 150, or 2½ hours. That's 2:30."

"Okay, I got the right answer. Good," he said.

"Yep," I confirmed.

"Well, I appreciate it," he said.

"Sure thing."

"Alright, then. We'll talk at ya later."

"Okay, son," I said, "We'll see you."

And the call ended.

It's always great when the kids call.