Thursday, October 23, 2008

Obama nightmare

Basil
Hey, I got an idea for a post.

WordPress write screen
"Obama nightmare." Yeah, that's the ticket.

Obama Rapid Response Team
Excuse me. You can't say that.

Basil
Who are you?

Obama Rapid Response Team
We're the Barack Obama Truth Squad. And you can't refer to a nightmare when talking about Barack Obama.

Basil
Why not? An Obama presidency would be a nightmare.

Obama Rapid Response Team
That has nothing to do with anything. Using the phrase "nightmare" is racist.

Basil
What?

Obama Rapid Response Team
Racist, you stupid cracker. "Nightmare" is a code word for "Black." And that makes you a racist.

Basil
What are you? Nuts?

Obama Rapid Response Team
"Nuts?!?!" That's racist, too.

Basil
How is "nuts" racist?

Obama Rapid Response Team
You know. Nuts. Brazil nuts is what you really mean. And you know what racist crackers call Brazil nuts.

Basil
Now just hold on a second. That's crazy.

Obama Rapid Response Team
You calling Barack Obama crazy? That's racist.

Basil
How is calling Barack Obama "crazy" racist?

Obama Rapid Response Team
Simple, you ignorant redneck. "Crazy" refers to a singer from Trinidad and Tobago. So you're calling Obama "Black." And that's racist.

Basil
So I can't call Barack Obama a nightmare, nuts, or crazy?

Obama Rapid Response Team
That's right. That'd be racist.

Basil
What about "socialist?"

Obama Rapid Response Team
Racist! You know "socialist" is code word for Black.

Basil
But he is a socialist!

Obama Rapid Response Team
You calling Obama a socialist? You racist!

Basil
How about "communist?"

Obama Rapid Response Team
J. Edgar Hoover once accused Dr. Martin Luther King of being a communist. I saw that on "X Files." So communist is a code word for "Black." You racist.

Basil
What can I call him? How about a liberal?

Obama Rapid Response Team
"Liberal?" You racist! Everybody knows that "liberal" is code word for "Black!"

Basil
Well, then, what can I say about Barack Hussein Obama?

Obama Rapid Response Team
"Hussein?" You can't say that!

Basil
It's his name.

Obama Rapid Response Team
So what? Calling him by his name is racist!

Basil
How is "Hussein" racist?

Obama Rapid Response Team
Everybody knows that "Hussein" is a code word for "Black," you racist!

Basil
Can I mention his connection to terrorists like Bill Ayers?

Obama Rapid Response Team
What?! Tying Obama to Ayers is racist!

Basil
How's that? Ayers is White!

Obama Rapid Response Team
Ah, but when you see Obama next to Ayers, it shows how Black Obama is. And that's racist!

Basil
Well, what can I call Obama?

Obama Rapid Response Team
You can call him "Senator."

Basil
I can say "Senator Barack Obama?"

Obama Rapid Response Team
You can't say that. That's racist!

Basil
Okay, I give up. How is calling Barack Obama a "Senator" racist?

Obama Rapid Response Team
"Senator" is code word for "Black!"

Basil
How's that?

Obama Rapid Response Team
You ignorant cracker. "Senator" refers to a blowhard politician. And one of the most famous was Huey Long from Louisiana. And his nickname was "Kingfish." And everyone knows that "Kingfish" was also the name of a character on "Amos 'n Andy." So, yeah, "Senator" is code word for "Black."

Basil
What?! I can't call Barack Obama "Senator?"

Obama Rapid Response Team
Oh, I expect you will. You racist.

Basil
What can I say, then? That he's "The One?"

Obama Rapid Response Team
Racist!! We know you really mean "That One." And that's racist!

Basil
Geez! What can I say about Barack Obama, then? That he's a Democrat?

Obama Rapid Response Team
"Democrat?" You racist! You can't say that! "Democrat" is code word for "Black!"

Basil
Okay, this is just plain silly.

Obama Rapid Response Team
You think racism is silly?

Basil
No, but this whole thing is silly. Anything said about Obama is criticized as "racist." All you're really trying to do is stifle opposing views.

Obama Rapid Response Team
There are no opposing views. There's Barack Obama on one side, and racists on the other.

Basil
Because I'm supporting McCain? I'm racist for supporting McCain?

Obama Rapid Response Team
That's right! Anyone who opposes Barack Obama is a racist.

Basil
I'm not opposing Obama because of his race. I'm supporting McCain because he's the most qualified candidate. I've not seen a Democrat nominee for President worth supporting since ... heck, I don't remember when. I supported Goldwater in '64, even though I wasn't old enough to vote. I was for Nixon in '68 and '72, despite not being old enough to vote. I thought Ford should have won in '76. I voted for Reagan in '80 and '84. For Bush in '88 and '92. Dole in '96. Bush in 2000 and again 4 years ago. And McCain this year.

Obama Rapid Response Team
So, you've been a racist your whole life, then?

Basil
Now that's stupid.

Obama Rapid Response Team
Oh, I see. "Stupid." That's what you rednecks say about Blacks. Shiftless. Lazy. Stupid. All code words for "Black."

Basil
I didn't say ...

Obama Rapid Response Team
Go ahead. Try to deny it.

Basil
I do deny it. I'm not against Obama because he's Black.

Obama Rapid Response Team
You can't say "Black!" That's a racist term. Say "African-American."

Basil
Well, that actually does make sense. Obama's father was from Kenya, a country in Africa. His mother was from Kansas. So, yeah, he actually is an African-American.

Obama Rapid Response Team
Oh, but when you say it like that, you're racist! "African-American" is code word for "Black."

Basil
This is ridiculous! I'm not against Obama because he's black.

Obama Rapid Response Team
Any time you oppose a Black man, you're racist!

Basil
Oh, really? So, if I opposed Clarence Thomas, I'd be racist? If I opposed Michael Steele, I'd be racist? If I criticized Condoleezza Rice, I'd be racist? If I said something bad about J. C. Watts, I'd be a racist? Opposing Rod Paige would be racist? Saying something unkind about Alan Keyes or Armstrong Williams would be racist? Criticizing ...

Obama Rapid Response Team
No! No! No! It would be racist to support those Uncle Toms.

Basil
You know, I think I was right to begin with. This is an Obama nightmare. I just don't know when it will end.

Obama Rapid Response Team
Heh. Silly redneck cracker. It never ends. Never.

6 comments:

  1. [...] Ayers? Racism. Bring up Jeremiah Wright? Racism. Pflagher? Racism. Call Barry a socialist? Racism. Everything is racistunless you prostrate yourself at the feet of Obama. I’m surprised Joe Klein didn’t deem [...]

    ReplyDelete
  2. [...] Ayers? Racism. Bring up Jeremiah Wright? Racism. Pflagher? Racism. Call Barry a socialist? Racism. Everything is racistunless you prostrate yourself at the feet of Obama. I’m surprised Joe Klein didn’t deem [...]

    ReplyDelete
  3. Good on you!

    obamas nightmare bevore christmas :D

    ReplyDelete
  4. You've pretty much hit the nail on the head - oh wait - that's racist! LOL and props!

    ReplyDelete

Please choose a Profile in "Comment as" or sign your name to Anonymous comments. Comment policy